Dear 11 Year Old,

I do not appreciate during school this morning when your teacher announced, "And Ms.A will be joining us this morning!" and you responded with, "Oh yeah! SHE'S the lady who can't catch a ball!"

Listen, just because you kicked my ass during recess yesterday at nearly every sport we played does not mean you need to point out my lack of hand-eye coordination to the whole class. I don't do ball sports, okay? I'll have you know I'm a very skilled SWIMMER and a very perky and flexible cheerleader. Don't mock my athletic ability. I could bench press your lanky pubescence.

Love,
A