Dear New Ankle Boots I Ordered Online,

Please come soon! You are just too cute to not be on my feet right now, and I really really want you to arrive before my birthday next weekend, so I can traipse around in you and forget about the fact that I'm turning TWENTY THREE and am just a few short years from shriveling up and turning into an old maid with 234982796583274 cats who only wears slippers and gardening shoes.

You're My Only Hope,
CF