Dear G's New Boyfriend That I Met For The First Time Last Night,

I love you already. Here is why:

1.) You bought me Bojangles chicken fingers to eat in the middle of a swanky foodless bar because I was starving from driving 7 hours to see your beloved gf. You even brought me ranch dressing. (Actually, if we're gonna be technical, we could stop there. You had me at that point.)
2.) You talked to me about foreskin for about 20 minutes.
3.) When asked about meeting G's ex, you simply said "I was cool with it, because I was like 'Hey man, I'm the one who's gonna be inside her later so..'"

Thank God. I'm a huge fan.
A