Dear Girl I Dumped,
It’s been two weeks since I kicked your ass to the curb and I don’t miss you one bit. Dating your dumbass for 3 months was an exercise in futility. I am glad that I finally got wise and took a major metaphorical shit all over your ego. Even though I’m never gonna talk to you anymore doesn’t I mean I don’t want to know what’s going on in your life. I mean, a guy has to have someone to make fun of when he gets drunk with his buddies. Sorry, but you asked for it. Oh well, now I guess it’s time again to go back to my regular M.O. (namely banging respectable amounts of hot broads). I’ve already got one under my belt (heh). Life is still good. See you never.
PS-If any hot semi-respectable ladies in LA respectable wanna get banged out revenge-style, meet me at Residuals. I’ll be the drunk asshole. Bing!
PPS-I’m not really a douchebag.