Dear Assholes who are in cars, on bikes, or on rollerbades:

As pedestrians, my dog and I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. Maybe don't drive 50 in a neighborhood and then be mad bc you took a corner at 80 only to realize my dog and I are in the crosswalk. And don't be all rollerbalding or biking and get pissed off bc my dog is deathly afraid of you and cowers and whimpers bc I WILL stick a stick in your wheel and flip you off your fucking high horse. You people all WISH your dog would swim and leap and catch frisbees and chase squirrels w/ reckless abandon and just generally be unsurpassedly cool.

I'll kill anyone on wheels if they look at my dog the wrong way,
b

PS when we're on the teeny tiny canal path, you can eat us bc there's a whole, paved, 2-way ped/bike only road right next to it. It's not our fault you are pretending to have an "all-terrain mountain biking experience" in the middle of DC.