Dear Boy Who I Wasn't Sure I Liked Until I Became Unsure That You Liked Me Back And Now I Really Like You,

Wtf? When you were asking me out and paying attention to me, I couldn't even decide if I was into you or not. Then all of a sudden you stop calling and I can't stop thinking about you. Do you even like me? Did you lose interest, or are you playing some kind of game? Or are you just really shy? I can't figure you out and its driving me crazy and now all I want is for you to come over and do me. The sick part is that I recognize the fact that my interest in you has only skyrocketed BECAUSE of your sudden lack thereof... and yet it changes nothing. Why is my wiring so fucked up???

Confused and kind of horny,
I.M.