Dear Dream Job,

I know you're out there somewhere, and even though I haven't been looking that long, effing show up already and hire me. And why don't you give me more money and a cooler office, while you're at it? You know, a place where I can show my mom and she will look impressed instead of worried. And, please don't come with the following: an alcoholic/substance addicted boss, a lazy d-bag pseudo-boss, mold, dirty floors, no refrigerator, no way to get promoted. Basically, I just want a marketing job that's fun and where everyone and everything is pretty. Is that too much to ask? (Probably...but I hope not.)

Hire Me and I'll Be Yours Forever~
LB