Dear GIGANTIC Raise I Just Got,

I LOVE YOU!!!!! Let's run away together to some remote, tropic locale. Think of all the pineapple-y drinks with little umbrellas I could buy with you! I could laze around on the beach, and maybe use you to bribe a cabana boy to be my personal sex slave...Then when we're tired of gorgeous tan foreigners, we could go shoe shopping! Together we could be the proud owners of, like, 74 pairs of Manolos. Basically, with your help I can become the next Imelda Marcos -- and I can't think of anything more fab!

Things Are Lookin' Up,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

omg, WHAT do you do for a living? and are they hiring???