Dear RIDICULOUSLY good looking co-worker,
I didn't know it was possible to still look good with a GINORMOUS cast on, but you proved me wrong. Please stop being so hot so that I can quit secretly stalking you through the window in my office. Our recent lunches together make me actually look forward to going to work....................WTF?!?!?!?! Please stop being so adorable so that I can go back to hating life and work. K?
Secretly wishing you will pull the fire alarm and ravish me,
p.s. did you really have to give money to the homeless women in front of me???? Could you BE any more PERFECT!