Dear Anna,

My dear friend, what is this lesbo phase you are going through? I don't know why I find it so incredibly humorous that you are delving in the vag. I think it is so laughable because I've known you for so long and I know you heart boy-dong. Sometimes I think you just lez out to shock people. It does not shock me. Frankly, nothing shocks me about you anymore. Threesomes?..meh. Arrested for assaulting your boyfriend?...big deal. Another possibility is that you are being queer because you got tired of only guys paying attention to you and you felt you needed to secure it from all. Regardless, I love you and you provide me with a continual source of entertainment, however, I'm still partial to weens.

Love you BITCH,
Adrienne

P.S. I promise to still talk to you even if you turn into a raging bulldyke who enters drag shows, wears do-rags(sp?), and draws on fake goatees with eyeliner.