Dear P!nk,

Thank you for putting into song what I always want to say but can never fully explain. 95% of the time when I am out on the town I'm there to have fun with my friends, not to meet some strange man who will no doubt put a damper on what could've been an excellent night out by wasting my time and excellent conversational talents. "U and Ur Hand" is truly a piece of art and I am totally feeling you. It is true, I am always "looking tight, feeling nice" and all I want to do is sing this song in its entirety to every douchebag in the bar that is relentlessly trying to pick up Mrs. Right Now. For the record "Don't touch, back up, I don't give a fuck." Essentially I believe the point that P!nk is trying to get across is... GET OFF ME.

Good thing your hand thinks you're hot,
G