Dear Middle School,

I've never been to hell, but I'm pretty sure it would be a lot like you. I remember the days when I was so incredibly awkward that I made Richard Simmons look normal. I didn't know how to dress myself, socially interact, or make my hair not look like a homeless person's. It's a rough life being a tween, but just because I sympathize doesn't mean I like them.

Being the new kid in 7th grade really sucked, but it sucked even worse when some prepubescent bitch made up a rumor that I was a lesbo. How could I possibly be a lesbian at the age of 12? I was so incredibly asexual at that age that holding a boy's hand scared the shit out of me. There is no way I would have been able to lez out then. Sheesh, it took me a good 6 years after that to even sack up enough to let a boy kiss me (i'm a late bloomer).

So yea, that little slut ruined my life for a good year because NO ONE would talk to me and I would go home crying everyday. I think she is where I get my disdain for tweens (especially the ones with Dooney & Burke purses). Too bad karma's a bitch and she is now busted and I got the bangin knockers.

Who's The Regina George Now, Bitch?,

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