Dear Recycling Man,

While I do appreciate your recent efforts to turn off your truck so as to not let all the exhaust fill up my office when you come by, I do NOT appreciate you staring at me or talking to me like we are friends because we are not. JUST BECAUSE I saw you at Wal-mart and was nice to you, does NOT mean that we are friends, k, red beard? I'm sure you are a perfectly nice person, but you were wearing jorts that day and I bet you own mandals too, so get off me.

Recycle this,

P.S. SERIOUSLY, is there THAT much paper in our office that you have to come by EVERYDAY? Didn't think so.

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