Dear Bartender That Hasn't Graduated From College And It's Been 7 Years,

7 years! Did you hear me? How's living in your mom's basement and bangin a different cougar every night working out for you? Don't even think for a second you have a chance with me, I am a lady, a L-A-D-Y. But, you do look pretty good in those tight Sevens mixing martini's all night, so maybe we could…..wait no.

Closing my tab,
L