Dear Car One,

Why are you a pedophile? More importantly, what does the fact that I dated you say about me? My trash-detector is pretty flawless, yet you're one hell of a big piece of trash. I always said that I would never get played because I'm too smart. Evidentally smarts don't get you through good acting. Bust. Everytime I turn the corner I learn something even more horrific about you. If I wasn't in the story, it would be pretty effing entertaining. I guess the outrageous movie scripts really are based on real-life experiences. Bust again. I gotta go get checked for herpes now.

Publically Humiliated,

Crystal