Dear Paris and Nicole,

Thank God the Simple Life is back on. Paris, when I was in court I was totally thinking about you. Whereas I didn't get my probation revoked forgetting a 2nd DUI, you were in jail for more than three weeks. Next time get a better lawyer, or a lower profile. I guess for once being a nobody actually helped out. Slash, Hunter is hot-- hit that! Nicole, I hope you really are pregnant so that you can stop being so foul to my lover Paris and gain some weight. Bye.

Jeal,
C