Dear Bombed Slash Bisexual Girl Last Night,

I am flattered you think i am a hot mess and kept attempting to make out with me saying I had a hot bod. Sick me out- i am not your girl next door to lez out with. Next time you decide to put your phone in your two-sizes-too-small bra, maybe you should put it on vibrate so that you arent walking around a bar for two hours accusing every chick in there of stealing it. Oh and by the way, telling me to make out with you to make my friend jealous does not turn me on.

i like the dong,
jess