Dear Law Enforcement Officers Of This City,
Ok, so I realize my tags expired as of a month ago. I promise to take care of that once I find time within my rigorous schedule of going out every night, sleeping till noon, and working on my tan poolside. My life has become a complete juggling act and it's really difficult being me sometimes. Please understand this is totally not like me. I would have taken care of this way sooner, but I've been under a lot of stress lately. Do me a favor and don't write me up.