Dear Craigslist roommate,
Thank you for blocking me on AIM. I feel that was the very mature of you and extremely necessary considering I have never IMed you. Thank you also for constantly informing me about your guy/job issues whenever I happen to be within earshot, even after I have told you that I dont care. Lastly, I truly appreciate you posting pictures of your scary looking niece all over the apartment. Its my fault really, I secretly want to have nightmares of a tiny Irish baby stalking me. FYI.......How do I get it through your tiny little head that I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!! Please, go do me a favor and go get laid, trust me when I say it would make you a lot more fun. Maybe then you will stop obsessing over a 35 year old overwieght policeman from Martha's Vineyard!!
P.S. please stop telling people that you graduated from Notre Dame, thats like me saying I went to Duke because it was only 40 minutes away!!