Dear T-Mobile, Motorola, and Nextel:

What's the deal? It's mid-2007, mobile technology is supposed to be far more reliable than the old analog service for dinosaur-sized phones of my youth, and yet... nothing but disappointment. I'm trying to break up with a guy who told me he's too busy to be able to have a one-hour long phone call with me, his girlfriend, but yet mysteriously not too busy to spend three hours driving roundtrip to Maryland for dinner with the blonde whorebagger that he invited home to Texas for wedding. And yet, you've repeatedly delayed this long-overdue turn of events by rendering any form of live verbal communication impossible by having no service at my house and not manufacturing cell batteries that have any charge life.

Improve or I'll get a satellite-phone,

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