Dear Bipolar Administrative Assistant On The Same Hall,

Your constant mood-shifts make my head spin. The other day you made my friend cry and five minutes ago you walked in my office to talk to someone else and you were as sweet as pie. People like you really throw me off. I know what it is too. You are the type that makes people EARN your niceness. For instance, I know that you are not nice to me because I happen to be good-looking and successful, however, ever since I've started complimenting your eye-shadow/glasses/sensible, yet stylish shoes you've been significantly more amicable. Good thing I'm extremely perceptive and have figured out how to work your favoritism to my advantage. Too bad I wasn't this skilled in high school. I could have been homecoming queen instead of spending my nights wondering when I was going to get my first kiss.

Cute Shoulder Pads!!!Hey, I've Got Some Shit I Need Photocopied...Do You Mind Doing It?
A