Dear Professor,

Thank you for providing me with a wildly amusing source of entertainment at 7:30 in the morning. Your idiosyncratic behavior, extreme enthusiasm over statistics, ridicule of colleagues, and constant use of profanity keeps me giggling. Although I may not agree with all of your implausible and unyielding opinions, I will never stop thinking it's hysterical that someone who looks like my grandfather constantly describes things as "sucking ass".

LOVES it,
A