dear ex,

maybe it was the wine (thanks, big firm reception!), maybe it was my kickass girl squad who aren't afraid to offer support whether in office or bar, but i deleted your phone number tonight. i deleted it from my phone book; i deleted it from my call history; i deleted it from my text messages. also, i took our bar back tonight. it was mine before it was yours, and i'm taking custody. okay, it may have been yours before it was mine - you're REALLY old - but you are
pretty much too old for the scene these days, so it's mine now. who gets free drinks form bartenders and lobbyists? oh, that was me. peace out, asshole. call me when you realize your second-tier law school life isn't gonna cut it. on second thought, don't. i'll be hooking up with your brother.

love,
K.C.