Dear Friday night's hookup,

Yeah you were okay, I was mostly impressed with your willingness to splurge on a nice hotel and the foreplay was great (I think, I dont really remember..lets thank the last shot of tequila for that)...but there are just two things I should have told you. 1. My ex-boyfriend and his huge dick has ruined me for all future relationships, not your fault I just need a big ween and 2. Hand holding? HAND HOLDING? On our walk to brunch with your 4 gay friends you had the nerve to try to hold my hand not once, or twice but at least 4-5 times. This was just a bone, not an invitation for a long term relationship or any type of relationship actually. You are my brother's friend, you weren't that great and you didn't even buy me lunch.

Same time next week?
Massie