Dear People Who Act Like They're Married Before They Are,

You really sick me out. I feel bad for you. I don't understand what goes through your head when you finally get a significant other and decide to start living the bland life. If I see another facebook album of only boyfriend/girlfriend pics I'm gonna throw up. Hey guess what, it's actually not cute to alienate yourself from all your friends and dedicate your life to your boo of 6 weeks. That is SO LAME. (God, I'm getting pissed now). Seriously, your 519 pics of just the two of you make you look like a fool. It's gonna suck when you break up and you have no one to listen to you cry.

And BBQ's with his/her family in which you are holding his/her nephews & nieces do not count as a social life. You have the rest of your life to lay on the couch on a Saturday night in your sweats with your dog watching When Harry Met Sally and having missionary style sex. Stop rushing the process. Sickos.

Go Out And Get Drunk Like Normal 20 Somethings,
A

P.S. It's not that I resent you for being in a relationship. I just disapprove of your orthopedic-shoe-wearing isolated couple lifestyle.