Dear 40-something coworker,
I find it awfully hilarious and especially sad that you are STILL mad at me over something super insignificant that happened on FRIDAY MORNING. I mean, one would think that you would easily get over it and move on with your life and business as usual, but I guess not. You seriously had the entire weekend to find something else to fuss over, but nay. Seems like you have NOTHING better to do than to be mad at me. I mean, you would think I called your mother a dirty whore or something (Shit, maybe I should have just so I could at least get my money's worth). Honestly, it wasn't even that serious. I mean, yeah, I said that you ALWAYS have to be right, and that I wasn't buying it. But dammit, sack up already! It's Tuesday!
Anyway, it is not that I really cared to continue to have meaningless morning banter with you about what Mary J. Blige song you listened to today, or which episode of The Hills you just barely watched on Youtube ("Omg, did you know that Spencer and Heidi are getting married?" she says, 10 years later). I just wanted to clear the air. But it seems like I'm in the midst of child's play here, and that you are not adult enough to just get over your bullshit and stop giving me the silent treatment.
Also, since we are on the subject of bullshit, can you please ask your 40-something boyfriend to stop giving me the eye every time we meet? Oh yeah, and tell him to also stop incessantly licking his lips at me as well. Yeah, that would be great.
Hoping that I am never as big of a loser at any age as you are at 40,