Dear Coming Home To A Teenage Boy (NOT my Brother) Passed Out On My Bedroom Floor,

What just happened?!

Love,
A

P.S. Nice touch leaving with my thesis in your hand. What exactly are you planning on doing with that in your drunken stupor? I wasn't aware that you liked to do research in your blackouts.

P.S.S. You're alive...don't know if you're aware of that right now.