Dear honest me,
Why are you so gosh darn mean? You know, you don't HAVE to talk about every ugly baby that waddles by you at any given time. You also don't have to make fun of fat old ladies in spandex with cat t-shirts. Those are easy targets, missy. So not nice.
But I can only assume that after last night you have learned your lesson. That's what you get for talking about your roommate and then finding out that she was hiding out the whole time in her bedroom pretending to sleep. Hahaha, how embarrassed you must have been! Really though, you should just take a page or two from your overly nice
boyfriend and stop talking about people all together.
I mean, EVERYONE knows that most of the time, you are speaking the truth, but I think some people are beginning to think that you just like to talk sh*t too. This is also true, but they don't have to know that. It's good to keep some things to yourself. You know, have some secrets or something.
Here, just to help you out, I made this list of people and things that you should remove from your ridicule list:
-fat, old ladies in spandex
-fat, young ladies in spandex
-the Spears clan
-super sad co-worker
Obviously, this is a condensed list, but it's a start. Rome wasn't built in a day.
From your loving mental brain twin,