Dear RIDICULOUSLY good looking co-workers ex girlfriend,
You are one crazy BIOTCH!! I really don't appreciate being woken up by a phone call from you (how the HECK did you get my number anyway?!?!?!), and then the following text message (which was supposedly from my crush) "staying home with my girlfriend" only to find out it was you. I have to admit it did make me freak out a little at first because his single status on facebook made him fair game in my book, but I did rethink it a little.
Now that i think about it I should actually thank you. Because of your freaky stalkerish actions at 7 in the AM this morning, he is now taking me to lunch to explain who you are and why you are jealous of me (which is already obvy to me and him ). So thanks for the push to have the DTR talk sooner than we would have otherwise!!
Maybe ill send you the same text tomorrow morning,