Dear Mom & Dad,

Thank you so much for getting divorced when I was 13 and catapulting my brother, sister, and I into an insta three musketeers, all-for-one, one-for-all kind of alliance. I love you guys. And note to brother, I'm so happy we spent last night drunk dialing all of the aforementioned parties. Good time to convince Dad continued minimal monetary support is warranted post-college. From a bar...on a Sunday...

In the family circle I trust,

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