Dear Monday, January 14th, 2008,
I thought we had an understanding. I mean, last week, I thought that I had made it clear that you had to ROCK in order for the rest of this week to not end up like last week (i.e. mood swings, no sex, late to work, too broke to buy groceries, NO SEX). But you must not have heard me. All I asked from you was for 3 simple things: 1) for my check to be deposited into my account by this morning, 2) for that sad ass co-worker of mine to return back to normal, and 3) for me to wake up refreshed and with a great attitude. You haven't done ONE of these things on my list. My check is MIA, my loser muffin co-worker is STILL giving me the silent treatment (counter: 7 days), and I woke up sleepy and aggravated. Thus, I hate you.
But it's ok, I'm onto your game, Mister! I see what you are trying to do. You are trying your hardest to sabotage my week/month, as well as tarnish my positive outlook for Mondays in 2008 (repeat, "Mondays do NOT suck, Mondays do NOT suck...").
So i've got something for you, you twisted, conniving jerky bastard! I'm gonna get some tonight after work. I'm gonna go straight up to my boyfriend's job and seduce him during his 10-minute break. Then, after that, I'm going to go and have some ice cream and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. And, just to spite you, i'm going to charge it all to my negative bank card just to show that you have no control over me, you stingy mood-crushing mutant.
What now, punk? You want some of me??? Bring it on.
Hoping that Tuesday - Friday aren't influenced by that thuggish bully, Monday and all his wild shenanigans,