Dear Straight, Semi-Normal, Single Men in the DC Area:

I'm going to the Wizards-Pistons game tonight w/ my cousin's husband. Same for the Rockets and Lakers games. If you assholes would step up, you'd not only get to go to free sporting events w/ a natural blonde, but you'd prolly also get laid. I hope you are all kicking yourselves and wondering why you are so worthless and stupid.

And yes, chicken pox is technically a form of herpes, but whatev. I'm mostly disease-free, other than that.

Drive to the basket, yo,

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