Dear $24.99 Speakers,

You are the best purchase I have made in quite some time. You have enabled my dance parties which have been occupying me and helped me pay attention long enough to clean my room. Frankly, I think my neighbors appreciate you too, not because of the noise you produce, but because I've taken up dancing in my panties to the Ying Yang Twins with the blinds open. Call me an passes the time.

Grinding to You,

P.S.Is it narcissistic that the possibility of the residents of the assisted living facility next door seeing me flaunting my bare 23 year old body excites me?...Yea...You like these, Grandpa?!

P.P.S. It's official. I'm a sick, sick individual.

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