Dear Adrienne,

Sadly, I have no suggestions for hobbies to take up, because if I did, I'd be doing something productive myself rather than reading about Angelina and Brad's bath-time chats on and wondering just how big a bathtub they have. Is it a jacuzzi? Or maybe one of those old fashioned tubs with lion feet? Does Brad join Angie in the tub, or does he lean back against the sink and gaze soulfully across the room at her? Okay, let's be real here: I don't really care, I just think it's awfully insensitive of Angelina to be out parading their love life for all the world, and Jennifer Aniston, to see, what with the way Brad totally committed emotional adultery. And sure, I might be a little sensitive because my "boyfriend" flew halfway across the country to go home for a wedding this past weekend, and didn't invite *me* but instead invited that blonde slut to fly home with him. I mean, at the very least you'd think I could work up a decent anger and go run a couple miles, burning off the pie I ate for dinner and working up some endorphins so that if/when he calls me tonight, I can cheerfully tell him to go fuck himself.

So no, no hobby suggestions for you, but in rereading this missive, I think my hobby might become working on my Dear Life letters so they better achieve that wicked level of sarcastic superiority you do so well.

Air kisses for you, none for that slutty wedding-going bitch,

PS If you get really bored, just start drinking. It makes everything, including lying on the couch, more interesting. Worst case scenario, you'll pass out, and who doesn't love naps??

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