Dear Captain of the Geek Squad at the Table Over at Virago,

That was us dirty texting you. God, you were clueless. And yes, we were giggling at you showing your entire table the lewd messages you were receiving. Actually, there is no woman on this earth who would sanely tell you they get wetter than Niagra when they think about you.

Thank for Letting Us Wickedly Laugh at Your Expense,
A