Dear Mr.Officer,

I enjoyed our extended conversation last night and thank you for favoring me over the rest of the crowd enough to let my boyfriends bypass the entire line of people waiting outside. I was impressed by your vocabulary which seemed to be much more extensive than the average law enforcement officer. You said I "inundated" you with big words. Inundate is one of my favorite words on this earth. However, you used "ameliorate" completely out of context. Your credibility was lost.

(Sometimes) Law Abiding,

P.S. I think it was slightly inappropriate to ask if you could frisk me because I forgot my I.D. inside (after you'd checked it 2 other times).

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