Dear Readers,

I'm really feeling like I need a new hobby, some alternative use of my time which is equally enjoyable and productive. I would say like knitting or something, but then I realized it's me and I refuse to do that shit. Maybe I could research Amish life. Maybe I could learn to make inappropriate origami. Maybe I could more intentionally use every conversation with friends, family, and strangers as a tool for psychoanalysis. Maybe I could make it my mission to bring back pogs. Maybe I could nurture relationships with vagabonds. Maybe I could pose as an unsuspecting tween in a chatroom and bring pedophiles to cold hard justice. Any suggestions?

Til My Class Starts I'm Sofa King Bored,

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