Dear New Conditioner,

I know my hair is long and luscious and thick - and while this is gorgeous and attractive, can be hard to take care of in 95 degree weather with 90% humidity. But you, my friend, are certainly NOT helping out. You promised to make my hair tangle-free, shiny and smooth!!! Lies! You deceitful little bitch, you. I look nothing more than disheveled and slightly greasy. I have a serious case of bed-head and not in the I-just-boned-all-night-and-don 't-you-wish-you-looked-as-hot-as-me way. And the fact that I woke up 20 minutes late and have last night's mascara running halfway down my face doesn't help my look much either. I hate you, Conditioner, and I'm kicking you out as soon as I get home.

You Smell Great Though,

CF