Dear Old People,

After spending the weekend with you and your kind, it has been confirmed that aging is in fact, my greatest fear. It's not that I don't like you people, you are my relatives after all; it is just that the thought of becoming drab, boring and technologically clueless is enough to induce a panic attack. Listening to your lot talk about exciting topics such as "how many pills you take each morning" and "how much you miss the 1970's" make me want to kill myself before I ever reach 30.

So I am not going to get old. You all seem content with your lot but I just can't do it. I genuinely appreciate being vibrant, perky and energetic, and I'm not about to trade that in for wrinkly, saggy and dull.

Oh, and thanks for informing me that the "fat gene" in our family kicks in at 23.

Going to stay 22 forever,

Shameless