Dear Worst Date of My Life,

I went out with you over a year ago, get over it! You cornered me last week and wanted to know why I didn't return you calls?! Here's why: My first clue that you were a pathetic skeezing loser was when your plan for the night was to pick up a 6 pack at the local gas station and watch a movie at my place...selected from the DVD collection on the floor of your car. When I shot down your sick idea of fun and forced you to take me out to a movie you spent the entire time biting your nails and narrating the whole film to me. As if I didn't think you were braindead enough by that point, you decided to ice the last bit of the cake by placing your Dasani bottle in the parking lot, only to comment "Someone else will pick it up." No one likes a litter bug you dumb bitch. Have some class!!!!

So in answer to your question, one night of subjection to your mindnumbing idiocity was enough. You're not cute, unemployed, and have the personality of a cactus. I know I'm gorgeous, but truly I'm not just out of your league, I'm in a whole other sport.

Keep Tennessee Beautiful Biotch!
Mo