Dear Eyes,

You looked totally fine this morning, and you were ready for a long night of shooting come-hither glances at a boy you should not be doing this to. Why, then, did you allow a FUCKING PIECE OF METAL TO GET LODGED IN YOUR CORNEA??? Perhaps it is the workings of some higher force looking out for me, but it feels like...a fucking piece of metal was yanked out of my eyeball today. Somehow, this process left me with one ginormous pupil and one normal sized one. I am so desperate that I may try to exploit this monstrous deformity for a pity fuck. Eyes, you better not freak boys out tonight, even though you make me look like I'm on pcp.

Watching you,
Cate