Dear Mid Western Boy I thought was gay,

I know in my last letter to you I said I thought you were gay. Sorry bout that. I was wrong. The last time we spoke I had woken up from a drunkn night to you in my bed. I vaguely remember that you would not round 2nd with me because you wanted to fly back down to the sunshine state to take me out to dinner first. Now three weeks later, after midnight, on a Friday night you call. Am I supposed to be excited? Our convo was less than five minutes and somehow during that time you asked if you could come visit me in January. Are you kidding me? Do you expect me to sit at home and wait for January to get a little action? And is the action dependent on if I clean my plate?

I have to give you credit for being unashamed of your bizarre social skills. What is more irrational is that I said, "Sure I would love to have dinner with you in January!"

Worried about the state of my dating life if I will book a date 90 days in advance,
JC

PS Most normal people simply state, "It is time for me to go to bed." NOT "Well dear, I think I am going to bed down." Who says that?