Dear A,

Though you wrote about me, and not to me, in your question to "Bangin Girls with Medium/Low Guys That They Are Obsessed With," I felt I should clue you in anyhow.

We non-bangin' guys that make it into the hottie leagues are not to be trifled with. We put in the hours, understand our partners, and have distinct advantages over the pretty boy competition. We don't give up. We fight dirty. And we're team players who support the superstars. I don't need to be the sun around which everything revolves. Shows need stars and we're not it. We never want to be the center of attention. That's a thing for you pretty people.

Despite the fact that you hotties get to choose whether we get action or not, you ladies choose poorly. When we "whatever" guys finally get over the fact that underneath all that fist-biting, eye-rolling hotness, you bangin chicks are even more insecure than everyone else (except pretty guys - who are more like you than even you are). Hell, we've dealt with the fact that we're not the second coming for years. Failure breeds persistence and talent in those who don't fold. We are the ultimate underdogs and being an audience for a hottie that is interesting, affirming and unwavering is our ticket to being an obsession. Being "not stupid," "not broke" and "not bad in the sack" don't hurt either, but those aren't universal prereqs.

If a nothin' guy, like me is lucky enough, like me, to find a traffic-accident causer hottie (literally) who's also a repressed closet uber-dork and is batshit crazy to boot - cash out and leave the casino. We just won the lottery. That kind of woman is terrified that she'll be hated once someone sees beyond the painstakingly maintained hottie facade to the genius esoterica-junkie bundle of insecurity lurking beneath. In fact, only a low/medium guy stands a chance here. We actually LIKE the fact that y'all need some reassurance from us. We're non important enough that the dark secret geek-dom can actually be revealed to us. Hell, when we're alone she can dork-e-late all she wants with no fear of anything but support and participation. It's the most fun potential situation, ever.

A vapid, vain prettyboy doesn't want to deal with that "she's a real human" shiz. For them, your job is just to show the world how wonderful and desirable they are by shutting up, smiling, looking pretty and submitting. Those dudes care more about their parents and bank accounts than their partners. If we legalized mirror marriage they'd never leave the house...I'd vote for it.

The hottie gal - nothin' guy pairup is actually a nice combo. She gets to feel the way she wants to all the time, and we get to be with her. It takes work by us, though. We have to have the sack to: 1) deal with the reality of being forever "less" in looks comparison, and; 2) at the same time not take shit just on the basis of "oh you're so pretty." Dudes who can't manage these two steps deserve the retooling they're destined for.

Hearts,
-T

p.s. Love the blog. I dread the day when you and your regular contributors disappear into rehab.