Dear guy I used to hook up with in college who is now engaged,
Really? Engaged? After finding out the "happy" news from a friend and via facebook, I did some calculations and figured out that you two have known each other approximately 4 months.....wtf? It's not that I was hoping you'd finally come to your senses and fall in love with me, since clearly after our 2+ years of on-off hooking up and it never working out I figured you "weren't that into me." Actually, I figured you were a jerk, because the least you could've done was been straightforward with me. But, I moved on, and I was the one in a serious relationship while you were perpetually single. So, 2 years later, why am I the single one now and you're engaged? Who gets engaged after 4 months? Your facebook pictures seem to show a receding hairline. Is this why? Better get married while you still can?
Being the mature person that I am, the only retaliation I could come up with was removing my "happy birthday" post from your wall. I'm sure you noticed and were crushed.
Well, if anything, this should be interesting,