Dear Ex-boyfriend (known from here on as Dirty Bastard),

I am thrilled that you finally jumped on the bandwagon and joined Facebook today. However, I am going to have to decline the invitation to be friends. I don't think "'Dirty Bastard' and 'Ego-centric' worked together. They met through 'mutual friend'. They hooked up in 2006 and it resulted in 'Ego-centric' contracting gonnorhea, as she was then unaware of the copious amounts of unclean women 'Dirty Bastard' was previously and probably still boning" would be an appropriate friendship connection.

And don't even entertain the thought of poking me. God only knows what other lovely veneral diseases you are hosting and itching to share.

Get Lost,
Ego-centric