Dear "Real Predators",

Sack up!! Practice honing your skills, and then use them. ON ME. I'm a cool, attractive honey - and I didn't go to an Ivy so you know I ain't lyin' - who is ready for your best game. Okay, maybe I'm a little rough around the edges (we'll just call it 'quirky'), but I can actually be quite endearing. I love football AND beer, have great taste in music, and I can even tell you who the president of France is (Tony Blair - duh). Plus I'm a freakin' riot! I'll even take a cheesy pickup line as long as it's said with a non-creepy smile and a reasonably good imitation of actual interest in something other than my bangin' tatas.

Gimme What You Got,
CF

P.S. -
Dear T,

AMEN. You are cool.

Hearts,
CF