Dear Crazy Girl:

Uh, maybe you don't bother to come out next time I meet someone even mildly interesting. Whaddya say, huh? B/c basically, you are used to being out in the open b/c I was in a relationship w/ someone who could dig the crazy, but now...NOW you need to take a little cat nap. Maybe even a dirt nap. You have a lot of super fun qualities, but you are also way too into being the center of attention. The little man in my canoe needs some love and you are depriving him of that option.

Will dose myself into oblivion to hide you from the light of day,

PS In a related dear, I swear to god that if jesus cockblocks me one more time I'll kill an orphan just for fun. An orphan with CELEBRITY ADOPTION POTENTIAL.

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