Dear Downtown,

WHAT THE F*CK IS YOUR PROBLEM??? How do you explain not f*cking having one f*cking damn Ben & Jerry's f*cking Ice Cream f*cking Store ANY-f*cking-WHERE in or f*cking near you? Huh? Well...??? Can you f*cking explain THAT??? Oh, so NOW you ain't got nuthin to say when I'm trying to get my free ice cream on, huh sucka??!

Now, I gotta dream about ice cream all afternoon through my lunch break and then wait until i get off work, then go hunt one of those bastard ice cream stores down. Why can't you just have everything? I mean, you have all these dumbass, tempting clothing stores, but you don't have one damn Ben & Jerry's in the entire damn downtown zip code??? You suck, lick AND swallow, you smog having, std carrying, bum infested, summa biatch! This is serious!

And you know what else? You ain't sh*t. And you ain't never gonna be sh*t. Be your life together, you beezy.

Hot, frustrated, and not getting cream,

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