Dear women who hate men because we are all assholes:
Though you have a point…we are all dicks…you have no reason to complain…
It IS totally your fault we’re tools, after all.
The notion that you want the nice, sensitive, caring boy who thinks the world of you is bullshit. The nice guys get no ass. No ass means no little nice guys. So they’ve died off. RIP nice guys.
The dangerous, insensitive, difficult-to-win-over-boy with tattoos, piercings and dubious morals with the wandering eye is the challenge to you. YOU all pick us, don’t forget, not the other way around. And we understand it…when the jerk likes you, you feel special. When the nice guy is nice, who the fuck cares? He’s nice to everybody! After all, we all chase the hottie bitches for similar reasons.
So no, it’s the bad choice…not the nice guy…who you make out with and take home again and again. That nice boy who princess-carried your drunk ass home and tucked you in with a cup of water left by your bed? You break that fucker’s heart like there's money in it. Being sweet is the biggest mistake a dude can make.
THAT’S why you don’t get to complain about the asshole gene.
Our asshole gene is simple evolution. The caveman who painted pretty pictures on the walls and listened to what the cavechick’s histrionic hopes and dreams? No offspring. His ass got sent outside where he got eaten by a Sabertooth.
Nope, The cave linebacker who got Cro-Magnon on the Mammoth is who the cave-sweety chose. His insensitive furrowed brow is the one y’all made out with…
…so that’s who we’re all descended from! The purebred niceguy? Totally extinct. Killed off by lack of getting chosen. You don’t get to consistently pick assholes to take home and then hate that that’s what we all are! We have fucking conformed to your preferences!
So deal with it.
You know you’re more mystified by the jerks, anyway. Enjoy enjoying what you’ve created, already.