Dear Mono,

I finally figured you out, you tricksy bitch! Thank God for blood tests because that sore throat was making me feel like I was getting cruxified everytime I swallowed for the past 2 days.

And thanks for sending me to hospital for inexplicable reasons 2 weekends ago (OH YEAH, BECAUSE MY SPLEEN WAS INFLAMMED.....idiot doctors).

All I have to say is Thank God the call to the bf didn't have to mirror my friend's call to tell her ex bf she had gonorrhea. He was surprisingly sympathetic and unphazed since he's already had mono and thereby in the clear. I guess I never got the memo that I was supposed to have gotten you five years ago like everyone else.



Shameless said...

I had mono (like 5 years ago, like everyone else) and it sucked balls. Missed almost a month of school and felt like death and doom the whole time.
Feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

Dear A:

I can almost relate. I thought I had mono for like six months in college...but it turned out I was just bored.

Happy recovery,

Anonymous said...

I see that you keep on thanking God but your language and how you view or treat other people, in my honest opinion, is not well off with God's. How come?

A said...

Someone's spirituality is a pretty tender thing to attack, don't you think?

I didn't go to church for 2 and a half years because I was so mad that people like you were judging me for not being perfect.

I recently started going back a month a half ago. Hearing someone criticize me like that makes me never want to go back.

The best way to witness to someone is not to start it off by telling them they are not well off with God, what right do you have to even have an opinion? You don't know me or what's written on my heart at all. Think twice with your words.

Anonymous said...

Amen, A


Anonymous said...

Fuck that other "Anonymous". I'm the real Anonymous and I hate stupid, uppity, self-righteous, mouth-breathing assholes who give me a bad name.

cj said...

a- get rid of the mono before someone tells you its really Satan inhabiting your body and not an illness. remember, this is still 1579 for some religious people (aka: rejectors of science.)

ps: i'm down with the Jesus and God. They are cool folk.